Friday, July 29, 2011

Why do I do this?

Next Saturday, we get to go see the boy at the new RTC. Their rules are that he had to be there 30 days before a visit could happen. They are very strict about a lot of things. Alex is like a lot of kids of trauma though, he needs to have intense structure and consistency. So, as we prepare for this first, monitored visit, I'm looking around for things to take him.

Like many kids dealing with PtSD/RAD, he's younger in a lot ways than his actual age, which is 14. He loves Christmas! Not that he deals well with Christmas...not that hasn't done everything he could to ruin it for himself and the family, mainly himself. So, I'm looking around for DVDs that I can buy or download (legally without malware, spyware, etc.) to take to him. Why is it that I become the one who gets obsessed with finding stuff to take? Is it making up for not being there? Is it compensation for him having to live away from the family? Do I really think that material things equal love in his eyes? I really don't know what my motivation is. I guess I keep trying to figure out things that have made him happy in the past.

I'm also looking for more and more frog or toad (that's one connection he and I share big of those things, sorry Gala!) jokes and riddles. Here's one I put on one side of the package I sent yesterday: Knock, knock. Who's there? Toad Toad who? Toad you I was going to send you a package and here it is! Yay, now I can give up this silly quest of getting another teaching position and follow my talent in writing jokes to the big bucks!

The tadpole in the picture is not the biggest we saw in the pond by our house...but it is the biggest we caught. Everything is bigger in Texas...'cept for rainfall, not so much.

1 comment:

  1. WOW on the tadpole! When we were kids, we had to look really hard to find them. :-)

    And on bringing your son the dvds, maybe you just want to leave a bit of your love with him when you go. He can't play them without remember that Mom brought them to him. And that is good. (((hugs))) to you.